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Originally from Texas, I am a reader, writer, pseudo-gardener, baker, record collecting student working on my Ph.D. in the Midwest.

Wednesday, August 25

Familes and Marriage and Weddings, oh my.

Half the time when a mom is screaming, “But I don’t understand! The pink flowers are so much PRETTIER and also why are you doing the flowers yourself what a disaster and d*mn it I said we should go with this florist and I’d pay and I think this centerpiece idea is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen and I said I liked the PINK flowers,” what she’s really saying is, “You’ve always been my daughter and our family has always been your first family, and now you’re getting married and you’re going to have your own family, and I’m excited for you and I love your fiance but I’m scared and this is hard. At least the flowers are a concrete thing to fight about.”
via Meg at A Practical Wedding*

I love that she wrote that out, because it's worded perfectly and it makes so much sense. And it's true, I think. At least it rings completely true for me.

Weddings are hard. And marriage is hard. But I think the hardest part is when a couple is creating their own family. I mean, you take two people who have their own set of ideals and beliefs and who were raised in different ways (no two families are ever going to raise kids the same, ever) and then merge them.

No wonder that's tough.

It's like in that movie, "The Story of Us" when Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis are talking with the therapist, and she describes how there are actually 6 people in your marriage bed: you and your spouse, your parents, and your spouses parents. I never realized how true that is until I got married.

And it's not to say it's bad. I wouldn't have wanted to marry someone who is exactly like me, with my experiences, and my family, and my understandings... that would just be boring (and possibly illegal). But it does complicate things. Which makes us human, and makes us *work*.

I'm just rambling really, but it's the best way I know to work out my thoughts.

*Yes, I still read this blog. It's the only wedding(ish) blog which survived my deleting of all things wedding related. Mainly because she's balanced and like talking to the best friend ever.

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