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Originally from Texas, I am a reader, writer, pseudo-gardener, baker, record collecting student working on my Ph.D. in the Midwest.

Tuesday, August 10

Why is it all about the Wives?

So, husband and I spent a lot of time at our library on Sunday (can we say, free AC?). And, I wanted to check out the book, The Commitment by Dan Savage because of this which I won't be a part of physically, but I can definitely read the book and create my own thoughts.

Now, his book is non-fiction marriage so it's labeled 306, which is conveniently by all the other marriage/couple self help books.


Alright, alright. That's a bit of a hyperbole. There was one for men.

This doesn't necessarily surprise me, I mean, really that's just what it is. But it sure does annoy me. And make me feel all snarky. Because this just implies that men don't care about their relationships/marriages.

And I don't like that. At all. Because I simply don't believe that men don't care. I do believe that men show their concern in different ways. That they are much more quiet about their issues. But I just don't believe they don't care.

I also simply don't believe that, as all the books imply, that "it's the wives fault." Or that they (we) are the only ones which can fix "it." For example, one book I picked up (and checked out) said, "We've [sic: wives] have put our marriages on cruise control, without any real plan as to how to take charge of our relationships again, short of waiting for the kids to grow up."

First, it takes two, count 'em two, people to put a marriage on cruise control. Second, why do *I* need to fix it. Why don't *we* need to fix it?

And finally, why the hell do we not talk about our marriages? I'm completely guilty about it as well, and want to know why.

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