Kid is climbing onto a school bus and steps on his jacket on the stairs, leaving a nasty brown stain.
me: ugh, stupid kid.
husband: hahahahahaha, hope our kids are smarter than that.
me: i'm clearly not ready for tiny humans.
Nice to Meet You
- Nicole
- Originally from Texas, I am a reader, writer, pseudo-gardener, baker, record collecting student working on my Ph.D. in the Midwest.
Tuesday, November 9
Monday, November 8
Living our Values
But I bought it at Voldemort.
Mm hmm. If you hover over that link, you'll see where I had to go to purchase this book. I have not shopped there in over 2 years. Since moving to Lincoln, I basically shop for books only at Indigo; if they don't have the book I'm looking for, well, they can just order it for me. So, why didn't I do that? Well, I needed the book on Saturday and Indigo does not carry it.
I felt dirty shopping at Voldemort, by the way. I looked on their website at first and it just felt wrong. So, so wrong.
But, I had too. I couldn't wait for this book and the local stores didn't have it. It's like shopping at Target for shoes -- I don't really want to {ahem, shop there, I do want the shoes}, but there isn't anywhere local to shop. And if I do find somewhere local, or somewhere that does awesome things {Toms!}, I can't afford it.
And that's where my values and my wallet collide. Or my values and my body collide.
Most often, I can do it. I can spend the extra money to shop at a local grocery over Wal Mart, because it's just better. But sometimes, I can't. I sometimes I have to go to Wal Mart for razors because razors at our grocery are $35 but the same at Wal Mart are $18. Or, I have to go to Voldemort because my favorite bookstore doesn't have the room nor the income to store books that don't move very fast. Or, I want to ride my bike everywhere, I do. But it's cold, and it hurts, and I'm normally running behind so let's get in the car and go! And it sucks. Straight up, but I don't know what to do about it.
How do you live out your values?
Friday, November 5
Primetime Rape
I found this article about primetime rape, and it pretty perfectly states my feelings.
Last nights episode. KaDee Strickland did a beautiful job of portraying a rape victim*. Beautiful. They showed her having to comfort Coop (her fiancé) at one point and I know from my research that was spot on. They showed Addison trying to be close and then backing away as Charlotte described what happened (granted, Charlotte seemed to be trying to get her to back off, but that's another topic). They showed a re-traumatized Violet. It was beautiful.
I stand by, though, what I've already said. A violent, stranger rape is not the most common form of sexual assault. Mad Men depicting Joan being raped by her fiancé, that's the most common form. Did you know that research tells us that a person most often knows their perpetrator for 6 months? And, a good chunk of men would rape a woman if they knew there would be no consequences? And that's terrifying, I openly admit it, and that's why we shy away from talking about it or depicting it. I also think that it's important that they are putting the rapist in the light of a "crazy man," thus furthering the stereotype that only crazy people do this.
A final thought: I've been watching the Private Practice fb page, because I've been curious to see what people say. Most people are judging Charlotte. No one blames her (ahem, violent stranger rape), but most people are judging her character. Why didn't she say it was rape? Why isn't she stronger? Why would she comfort Coop? Why would she lie to the cops? Why didn't she report it? Why wouldn't she have a Rape Kit done; it's just like a pap smear."
And that, dear internets, is a fantastic picture of our society and our tendency to question rape victims.
*Victim: I fluctuate between victim and survivor in my work. I have seen victims who are still daily dealing (or not) with and hurting from and deeply affected by their assault. I have also seen survivors, the people who have stepped to the other side of their assault. For me, Charlotte is clearly a victim at this point.
Last nights episode. KaDee Strickland did a beautiful job of portraying a rape victim*. Beautiful. They showed her having to comfort Coop (her fiancé) at one point and I know from my research that was spot on. They showed Addison trying to be close and then backing away as Charlotte described what happened (granted, Charlotte seemed to be trying to get her to back off, but that's another topic). They showed a re-traumatized Violet. It was beautiful.
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I stand by, though, what I've already said. A violent, stranger rape is not the most common form of sexual assault. Mad Men depicting Joan being raped by her fiancé, that's the most common form. Did you know that research tells us that a person most often knows their perpetrator for 6 months? And, a good chunk of men would rape a woman if they knew there would be no consequences? And that's terrifying, I openly admit it, and that's why we shy away from talking about it or depicting it. I also think that it's important that they are putting the rapist in the light of a "crazy man," thus furthering the stereotype that only crazy people do this.
A final thought: I've been watching the Private Practice fb page, because I've been curious to see what people say. Most people are judging Charlotte. No one blames her (ahem, violent stranger rape), but most people are judging her character. Why didn't she say it was rape? Why isn't she stronger? Why would she comfort Coop? Why would she lie to the cops? Why didn't she report it? Why wouldn't she have a Rape Kit done; it's just like a pap smear."
And that, dear internets, is a fantastic picture of our society and our tendency to question rape victims.
*Victim: I fluctuate between victim and survivor in my work. I have seen victims who are still daily dealing (or not) with and hurting from and deeply affected by their assault. I have also seen survivors, the people who have stepped to the other side of their assault. For me, Charlotte is clearly a victim at this point.
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