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Originally from Texas, I am a reader, writer, pseudo-gardener, baker, record collecting student working on my Ph.D. in the Midwest.

Monday, August 16

Love is and isn't

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

I think that St. Augustine, as usual, is completely on the ball.

That doesn't make me wish that those fantastic, euphoric feelings of being "in love" weren't still applicable. Or that having those feelings means that my marriage is doomed*.

See a common thread which I am finding amongst my readings into healthy, long lasting, successful relationships is that relationships are serious. And I mean serious. I mean be on the same page about paying bills, schedule your date night, and talk about kids seriousness. Those all have their place, trust me. We really do need to be on the same page about paying bills, or it's just going to get bad.

But what about those giddy feelings? That, "is he going to kiss me?!" feeling. Or the, "Aww, he brought me home my favorite candy..." feeling. Those are fantastic, and I don't hear about it enough. Or how to cultivate it. Or how to keep it happening.

See, it's all about balance. There does need to be seriousness (again, I say bills). But there has got to be that fun, carefree attitude as well.

So, I'm wondering, how do you guys keep those giddy, awesome feelings going in your relationships (dating or not!)?

*please insert a big, loud, male voice saying "doomed"

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